Chasing Happiness

Circumambulating at Jambay Lhakhang 

What is happiness? This is one of the toughest questions. I struggle to define this elusive subject. As a child, receiving a new toy brought me happiness. Yet, I soon realized this joy was fleeting, often followed by a sense of disappointment. Similarly, when I don't get what I desire, unhappiness lingers but eventually fades. It seems nothing lasts forever.

People say happiness is a choice. But how does one choose happiness? Some say it's about acceptance. What exactly should I accept in life? Life sounds simple in theory but proves challenging in practice and on an individual level.

I cherish life dearly, as you all do yours. Honestly, I haven't found true happiness yet, no matter where I've reached in life. Should I wait until old age?

I Will Change the Old Me

I don't know where or how to begin. Today marks the seventh day of 365, and I'm still unsure about my new resolutions. Many of us were excited and have already adopted some changes with the new year. On the other hand, there might be others who are still stuck in 2018, much like I am.

Confused! But I believe every moment is new and deserves new changes. I'm also certain that change is constantly occurring, every moment of our lives.

Nevertheless, let me reflect on the past seven days before I plan my future, knowing that impermanence might prevent me from executing these plans.

I rewind my memory, sadly not time, back seven days from today. I can barely recall those moments that have passed. They were moments of wonder in my small yet self-proclaimed larger life. Last year began with similar celebrations, with hopes that everything would be fine. To be honest, everything wasn't fine; it was just perfect in its own way. Like some of you, I busied myself trying to avoid any harm, even a minor scratch on my body. I concealed everything dark and displayed only the bright side, even if it wasn't genuine. Wearing a red robe, I found it a perfect guise to conceal my true self. I didn't need artificial help to feign kindness, love, generosity, or compassion when I had my red robe. Ordained as a monk and wearing a red robe, I am socially categorized as someone who has sacrificed for sentient beings. I found refuge in this perception, enjoying undeserved benefits. Life passes with its ups and downs, and at the end of the day, what truly counts?

I am good at borrowing things because I don't truly possess anything. Nothing at all. Whether Socrates said it or not, as is my habit, today too I borrow a beautiful line: 'Don't talk of peace and love when you have a dead animal on your plate.' Reflecting on this quote, let me refrain from talking about adopting new changes when I have a backlog of old, unfinished, and unclean habits within me.

If I ever need to change, it's not about bringing in something new but sorting out the old, dirty habits within me. For me, that too is a change.

11.11.11: Happy Birthday My King

Jigme Singye Wangchuck
འཇིགས་མེད་སེང་གེ་དབང་ཕྱུག

I'm a proud Bhutanese because of my King who is the pillar of our nation. I am sure, definitely, my praise is not going to justify even smallest achievement amongst HIS boundless deeds. Never will I, ever in my life, be able to express in writings. You may not believe me if I say I haven't seen K4 but that's the fact. I never had an opportunity to see HIM giving a live speech neither mingling in a crowd. Thanks to advancement in technology, I watched and listened to HIS visionary speeches in different occasions. Let alone me, world is the witness to appreciate what an image His Majesty earned for Bhutan. Yes it is, more or less a cliché ‘Gross National Happiness’; the concept that is versatile in nature. 

I grew up appreciating HIS legendary work. No matter what, I will not be able to reach YOUR heights but I'll take little steps and impersonate your boddhisatva path. King of the kings are Dharma King. Thank you for being a true Dharma King.

Let Bhutan cherish YOUR presence eternally.

Long live!

Note: 11.11.11

a) 11 is a date i.e. 11th day of the month.
b) 11 is a month i.e. November.
c) 11 is year i.e. 2018 (2+0+1+8=11).

The First Chilling Morning of The Coming Winter

Early sun rays melts the frost

Around 5:13 a.m. I was awaken through my dream that I forgot the moment I knew it was a dream. It was extremely cold morning I’ve ever experienced this year and it is a sign that winter has approached very close. As I couldn't belief, I checked window and door but found them shut. Then I realised from where chilling wind entered my room; it was from the hole of a wall. It is apparent to say that cold weather holds you to stay with blankets. My likeness to stay with warm clothes in Bumthang has began today and soon it will be a much talked topic in the nearby vicinity. There will be this cliché ‘It is cold’ in everybody's mouth. I am also sure betelnuts, betel pepper and lime will have more demands in the business market. Maybe it is an opportunity for business operators such as doma sellers to contribute in the business growth? Pun not intended. 

Early sunrise around 8:30 a.m. 

Being a selfish me, I've shifted my desire from one after another in search of good, than to better and than to best and so on and on. I complain too much; when I'm in cold and when I'm in hot. For this reason I'm neither fish nor fowl. Where do I find my aspired place? Where? 

Do I need to thank Sun for warming or won't it burn me other day? I'm afraid. 

World Through the Eyes of a Child

With Micky Mouse comic although she do not know how to read.

I've a beautiful, smart and talkative niece. Her name Chimi Eden was given by my guru, Kyabje Namkhai Nyingpo Rinpoche. She's only four years old. She never makes me feel bore. Whenever she sees me, she greets me, “Kuzu Zangpo la Aku,” and then she would come closer to shake hand. Then she would put me so many questions. I've to be clever enough to defend otherwise she will keep on asking one after another. She is never tired of inquiring anything. Once I read in an article where psychologist have highlighted parents to give enough time to child during their early years. It is a crucial stage of learning for them. Bad environment or bad influence may help them become aggressive and otherwise. I've been keeping myself at par with the aforementioned  findings whenever I meet children. As I was saying about Chimi, let me share one of the incident with her that made me to rethink time and again.

Chimi and I were washing kitchen utensils. We were only three of us at home including her eldest brother. As usual she was asking me many thing and in between I was also actively involving her do the washing. Since I've a backache, I often stretch and ease my stiff muscles. That time too I erected my back, twisted my neck and ultimately muttered, “a-la-la-la Shi-lay-la Jung.” She paused her busy hand and looked quzzically at me. She then said, “Aku, we will die even having a backache?” It prompted me to ask about death instead of answering her. 

“What is dying?” Said I.

“Aku, you don't know?” Said she, “It is like sleeping.”

Like sleeping, I thought. Of course we go for a longer sleep. Wow feeling aroused in me. “Are you afraid of dying?”

“Obviously I'm afraid,” She replied, “are you not?”

“Why?” Said I.

She was trying to find something in her head and then reassured herself by asking me. “Aku, if there is lots of blood coming out, you will die. “ she said and continued, “are you not going to get scared if blood oozes from your body?”

“Oh, we will die only if blood comes out?” I rephrased the line.

“Yes.” She confidently said.

“Chimi, who taught you all this things?” I said.

“Aku my ama told me.” She adorably said this line.

To check her, I couldn't hold myself from creating lots of question in my head but she was not willing to respond to every question. We know how scared children's are just when they see blood, even if it comes out of their scratched skin. For them world is defined by whoever is around them. Chimi is scared of death but she don't know why? Seeing a red blood Chimi gets afraid so much so that she finds death in it.  Maybe we carry the experience of death from our past lives though it is difficult to recollect. I'm sure Chimi will come to ķnow life more deeper as and when she enters the different stages of life. I hope that she'll also know about birth and death better than her mother’s words. The ultimate goal of us is to improve in life eventually reaching a desired goal.

Beautifully Blessed Bumthang

I presume, Bumthang receives the highest number of Tshechu compared to other districts in a year. It is blessed by a great Indian saint Guru Padmasambhava in 747 A.D.  Following the footsteps of Guru Rinpoche many Buddhist scholars have tried to preserve and promote for the benefit of sentient beings. I have known Bumthang for two things since my early teenage. I knew from books and orally heard that Bumthang is a place where you'll find lots of sacred Buddhist temples in every direction. Another story is, I heard, there used to be lots of evil spirits (demon and witches). I was eager to visit temples/monasteries and hear more about evil beings but reluctant as well.

Chamkhar Valley in the evening

Just stepping in this beautiful Bumthang valley gave me a feeling where many would not be able to express. The energy was so refreshing that I always wanted to spent the rest of my life in this valley. Maybe my prayer was heard by almighty above or I already had a connection from my past karma. I consider myself a fortunate human for getting rarest opportunity to live with soothing energy in so called Bumpa: holy water vessel, thang: plain valley. Beside religiously adorned beauty, Bumthang is also known for the production of best leaders in the history. Since I'm not a good historian, I'm sorry, I've to wind up apolitical histories.

More importantly I'm here to share about local festivals which are in pipeline especially at the end of summer's season. Paedtsheling Goenpa hosts the first and this year it fell on early June. After three months Tamzhing Phala Choedpa coincides with Thimphu Tshechu which is followed by Thangbi, I don't know much of the significance but I have been always able to present at least a day in all the Tshechus.

With atsara at Paedtsheling Goenpa on 3rd June 2018

Paedtsheling is more than half an hours drive from chamkhar bazaar but road condition is worst during summer. Taxi fare was Nu. 300/- per head. There is another option for those interested one's, walking can take at least two hours.

Tamzhing last day on 21st Sept 2018

Tamzhing is 3 km away from chamkhar bazaar. Local people says, it is the only monastery lasted for more than five hundred years free from natural disasters. During the last day there will be a blessing for the public. First will be a blessing known as pakpa wang, in which a sacks stitched of leather which is of course filled with sacred treasure, zung as in buddhist term, is hit at the back and it is believed to clear one's path also washing away negativity. Next is to receive a blessing from a statue of Tshepamey which is of course sculpted by Tertoen Pema Lingpa himself.

Thangbi Mae-wang on 24th Sept 2018

Mae-wang is a fire blessing ceremony and is also the main highlight at Thangbi Tshechu. It is risky if not careful. Keep alert when people rushes to cross the blazing fire; to escape stempede. It is advisable not to rush although many energised will be eager to try. Many Monastry have mae-wang but unlike Thangbi they do it in the night, which I observed is more riskier.
Thangbi is almost 30 minutes drive from Chamkhar. From Kurjey Lhakhang the road is unpaved.

Jakar Tshechu is interesting to watch in a small courtyard. I don't know much about Jakar Tshechu but courtyard is congested which can accommodate less number of people. I had to stand and watch the dance. Nevertheless Jakar dzon is beautifully built. To know more one will have to go through history. The gigantic dzong is located overlooking Chamkhar.

19th Oct 2018

Jambay Lhakhang is the oldest monastery in Bhutan and it is believed to have been built by Songtsen Gompo of Tibet before Guru's arrival. But recent researchers believe that the construction of Jambay Lhakhang began even before Songtsen Gompo by the locality. I can't guarantee the reliability in information. Maybe proper research is required. Nevertheless there's one unique chham (dance) performed during late night. It's known as Ter-Chham or naked dance.
Jambay Lhakhang is 10 minutes drive from Chamkhar.

P.s. Tshechu I mentioned is only under Chhokhor Gewog. There are several monasteries which are under other three gewogs. 

Monk, after a year

Human mind is incredible. It is really a mysterious thing that can't be exposed and shown to each other. Saying that I'm not limiting or underestimating other persons capability. One of us might be capable enough to drill and pave a path, maybe beyond anyone of us have ever dreamt. Neil Armstrong surprised us by landing in a moon, which might have been a mere dream or fantasy place for a duffer of my kind. He proved incredibility of our mind. I'm sure nothing is impossible with this mind of ours when it meets an exact discipline. When I'm sharing this on a larger platform please do not misunderstand me to a someone who has realised or to a someone who is acquiring a divinely power. I'm simply penning my personal thought about life. It can be comparable to a person fighting for his personal right just because he is a human.

We have heard great stories, also witnessed marvellous work of our ancestors and still legacies are kept for the future generations. If I may ask you all, are we solving a problem or adding to It? The response will differ. Individual of us can opine as per our own resonating capability. My observation is little bit crazy but more inclined and borrowed from Buddha's philosophy. Many medicines have solved and cured disastrous diseases. Our workload is being outsourced to machines and super computers are replacing human brains. Isn't that wonderful achievement? It is. Why do we do all this? Very simple. Happiness! Are we happy having such?  I am not sure but read in an article describing how world is suffering despite lots of ground-breaking findings in various fields. Medicines have cured diseases and super computers are easing our work but thousands are dying from depression. We are globally connected but socially unreachable. Children's are virtually educated while parents are busy in their own work. Families are forgotten. Alas! I miss my bedtime stories too. Living in a confused world, sometimes, I feel like a machine put into use & then immediately replaced once it becomes an obsolete. There's no room for wore and torn machines. Simply chasing after happiness never made us happy instead it has brought more suffering. 

Analysing and experiencing bitter truth I opted a path that shall clear my mundane existence. The path is very simple and yet comprehensive subject per se. I don't think I've achieved anything by becoming a monk but I've reduced some stress level. Although not 100%, I've lost interest in worldly pleasure. I have taken a step to view world quite different from past. There was a day when I used to judge world solely based upon prove and now I'm realising where my narrow perception would lead. I can't say that I wasn't superstitious in the past but now I'm more superstitious. I also believe in things I was reluctant once. Even stones and trees have occupied a room in my heart. My discipline is not concerned about temporary happiness and for this reason I'm systematically obliged to be present in every function. I am not taking it for granted.  Of course I may fail to abide every rules & regulations but then it's a platform to experience after failure. Having faith and trust in my heart I bow Kencho sum to guide me until I attain and become one like my guru. 

In closing Sufi poet Rumi exactly describes my intention when he said, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I'm wise, so I'm changing myself.“