To Yangki, But Not Really

Dear Yangki,

One thing that seldom bothers me while writing is when I don't know how to start or where to end. Interestingly, I can gossip as much as you like in the middle. You are cordially invited to listen to my gossip.

Yangki, as I am writing a simple note to you, I am simultaneously breaking a promise I made to myself last night. I decided, and even told my friends, not to disturb me in any way for ten days, and I would live without contacting anyone. Things turned out otherwise. The main reason is that I have to submit my daily mantra chant when the concerned monks come during their scheduled time; in this case, I had to comply. Sharing some gossip now surely brings me relief for not getting the isolation I desired. Today, which is the third day, I completed one of the three mantras. It may sound strange, but I have much nonsense to share. To be precise, it is gossip! Please bear with me for a few minutes, even though you might have more meaningful tasks in your pipeline. 

On my first day, I woke up to the sound of a vajra bell and damaru, instead of my cell phone alarm, from a neighbor who lives downstairs. I reached for my phone to check the time, and unsurprisingly, it was near six o'clock. After tossing and turning for a few minutes, I managed to shake off my drowsiness. The alarm went off again, and I would have fallen back asleep if it hadn't been for the second reminder.

If there was something new to savor in the morning, it was a potato curry after almost a month for breakfast. I missed potatoes because, like most kids, I am still a potato lover. During my time as a cook (Soepen), during three weeks of voluntary service for Khen Rinpoche (or abbot to some), potatoes, onions, garlic, and pumpkin were never cooked due to health issues and religious beliefs. After enjoying the potato curry, I began my prayers and chanting.

Not long after I started chanting, a distant babble of conversation grew louder as it neared my dwelling, but I didn’t bother to intervene. One of them knocked on the door. They were highly learned monks accompanied by seniors. I nodded when the one who knocked asked if I was staying there. They left, and I felt frustrated. I craned my neck out the window to see if my neighbors were around, but no one was there. I hopped over to the window and locked the door from the outside, thinking no one would disturb me. But like Jerry to Tom, a second group came, and I overheard their conversation. I moved the curtains to let them know I was still inside. It wasn’t funny, by the way. There was no point in locking the door from the outside once they knew I was inside. A third group came and left. I unlocked the door from the outside, still feeling irritated.

My goal was to complete one mantra within three days, so I sped up my efforts from the second day. I wrote my name on a piece of paper and pasted it on the door, hoping to avoid interruptions like the day before. But the more I chanted, the less my mouth could manage. My thumb started aching after running over the beads hundreds and thousands of times. I felt like sleeping. Oh no! Maybe Mara was trying to thwart me? Above all, it is my untamable mind that needs attention. I couldn’t control it for even a few seconds. The harder I tried, the tougher it became. In a fraction of a second, my mind took me on the longest adventures I’ve ever traveled and ever will. Friends I departed from long ago, food I tasted in the past, places I visited, pranks I played, services I rendered, love I received, beauty I witnessed – all vividly resurfaced and triggered an adrenaline rush. I was alone in the room but fully engaged by my mind. The other friends I had were four statues: Sakyamuni Buddha placed on the top rack, and below, from left to right, Vajrasattva, Guru Nangsi Zilnön, and Avalokiteshvara. I watched them as if they were going to talk to me.

Honestly, I signed out of all my social network accounts except for WeChat and my blog, just to stay judiciously connected. In this way, I don't know what’s happening outside. No, I’m not Googling either. You won’t believe it, but I can still faintly hear my neighbor’s TV, though it requires focus. Since I chose to distance myself from any news, whenever I hear "Corona…" on BBS from downstairs, I chant louder – even louder if the sound is clear. For this reason, I am unaware of the current coronavirus cases. I hope and pray that everything will resume from where it left off. May it be a good and great leap, my dear.

Dear Yangki, I regret to say I’ve shared everything in a nutshell. I’m sorry, but most of my gossip remains untold. I didn’t lie, though. I won’t regret not revealing it all – believe me, too much honesty isn’t always good. Some stories aren’t meant to be disclosed, remember that.

Sitting the whole day between four walls, with thoughts racing through my mind uncontrollably and gossip popping up, perhaps it’s my responsibility to share it with you individually, Yangki.

Take care. See you soon.

Thank you,

Jamyang Loden.

COVID-19: I will fight with Prayer

Counting......

Almost all of us, if not, most of us are by now aware of COVID-19 which according to scientist is believed to cause infection by a coronavirus family. Late last year, when it initially started to spread from China’s Wuhan city, many of us remained calm, not knowing kind of waves we would receive later. Despite the effort of world’s think tank in eradication of this viral infection, still things are uncontrollable at some point of time. I personally feel that we as an individuals can also play a vital role by following what concerned authorities have to say. Let me restate some of the common health hacking ideas to avoid transmission because I believe in timely reminder.

1. Wash your hands after touching any objects (follow the steps of hand washing)

2. Social Distancing is also must because we do not know who is infected and who is not, therefore it is safer to keep distance (or if possible isolate yourself).

Although there are many tips down the list I vehemently trust the above two but before getting infected.

Now why I am sharing this is because at this time we must learn to sacrifice based on the priority of our work. Having a comfortable life is must but one cannot risk life by going to a crowded market. Your business might run into loss but still it can boom up to a good profit once we are done with current pandemic. One may wish to go into a new places, I am afraid, who knows if infected people are loitering. Isn’t it not a better idea to remain at home as suggested by many experts? I too believe in impermanence of everything and I am confident that this situation too will end like nothing has happened. Sorry to use ‘nothing’ but yes this will turn into a fact. Many of us will restart to a better and normal life once we win the war.

Going through social networks we get to see and read so many havoc's while some are desperate to do anything to be at the safer side. These shows how unprepared we are to leave this world. We have forgotten that we are a guest and must learn to leave like a guest.

Having said let me also opine some of the thoughts that went through my head in the recent times. First thing I realized was that I am still a coward guy, the one I used to be since I knew my cowardice long time back. I thought things would turn into better, once I start my spiritual journey. But no, nothing will change unless you are not taking extra burden to change. Waiting things would change for me is another cowardice decision alive in me. You know folks, the moment I saw first positive case in Bhutan, in my mother land, I went mentally numb. I didn’t know how to react. I had an itchy feeling running all over my body as if virus has infected me at that moment. I don’t know if victims had that itchy kind of feeling, maybe, it was my psychic feeling, I guess. After I went through such moment I called my close ones to remain hygiene. Thank god I could at least remember to call them otherwise I would drop them a messages and wouldn’t bother whether they read or not. If I learned anything from that incident, it is to remind myself that things can topple down anytime, uncertainly. I must be well prepared to leave this world, not when I  am ready but whenever I receive a call.

Things became normal for me after American man was airlifted to US for the better treatment. I don’t know why but it brought me a relief when I saw and heard such news. Indeed I saw a sigh of relief in many Bhutanese yet government never slept peacefully. It was a call to remind us whether we are ready to face the catastrophe, if no, get ready. With passing of the each day world at large was fighting at their best and still, at this time, many are fighting. Remember that when you have done reading this, many would have succumbed to infections while many positive cases detected. The number might be still increasing every moment. It is a concerning subject but nobody should take advantage of the situation and spread fake news. Some people are innocent and desperate to believe anything given in the social network. Being responsible is also a contribution to the society, especially at this time. Mediocre citizen like us must refrain from spreading any news without authentic sources.

By now some of you might be wondering because I have had enough of bragging as if I am leading some kind of troops to fight the current case. Sorry to say but I am doing nothing. Nothing, because what I am doing won’t have objective value. All I am doing is locking the door from outside and entering inside from the window so that nobody notices me while I am busy on my own. As instructed, I am chanting mantra and praying whole day except taking a rest during lunch and sleeping hours. I hear some of our authorities walking, supposedly on checking, some even touching the curtain, maybe inquiring the presence of some monks. They told us not to go away from monastery boundary, for the safety of us, rather to stay in the respective rooms and do mantras chant. Some may not believe in the power of prayer but my guru told us that collective prayers are heard faster. I have no doubt about that. I am optimistic about prayer and its result. What can a religious person do? Nothing but to sit and pray! Ten years ago our economic teacher told us monks do not contribute economically. Still I am confused. Any ways, even if I am not contributing, I am not liability for the government. To those who believe in prayer, why don’t you choose to do some prayer recitation and try to connect spiritually? Many of us can chant basic mantras and that’s exactly what I am doing. I don’t have sophisticated religious books in front me. All I’ve is a simple prayer book which most of the schools recites daily during their evening time. If you agree to my suggestion and feel's you are not doing any productive job, do not not wait for tomorrow, start chanting. We can still fight, with prayer. 

Be a responsible human!