One thing that seldom eats my
head while writing is when I do not know how to start and where to put the end,
interestingly I can gossip as much as you like in the middle. You are
purposefully invited to listen to my gossip.
Yangki, as I am writing a simple chit
to you, at the same time, I am breaking a promise I made to myself on the eve. I
decided, even told my friends not to disturb me in any sense for ten days, and I will live without
contacting any one. It turned elsewise. Main reason is because I have to submit
my total daily mantra chant when the concern monks come during their stipulated time;
in this case I had to agree with them. And therefore sharing some
gossip surely give me a relief for a loss of not getting isolation as I wanted. Today (also third day), I am
done with one of the three mantras chanting. Weird it may seem but I have much
nonsense to share. To be precise, it is gossip! Please bear with me for few
minutes even though you might have other meaningful chore in the pipeline.
On my first day I woke up to a
sound of vajra bell and damaru, instead of my cell phone’s alarm, of a neighborhood
who stays in the down floor. I tossed my hand towards cell phone to check the time,
not surprisingly it was near to six o’clock. After turning and rolling for few
minutes I could get off from drowsiness. Alarm too started. I would have fallen
back into sleep had it not been my alarm for the second time reminder.
If there was something new to
taste in the morning it was a potato curry after almost a month, for the
breakfast. I missed potato because, like most of the kids, I am still a potato
lover. During my service as a cook (Soepen), in three weeks voluntary, for the
Khen Rinpoche (or abbot to some), potato, onion, garlic and pumpkin are never
cooked due to health issues and religious belief. After I tucked into a potato
curry, I began my prayer and chant simultaneously.
Not so long after I started chants, a
babble of conversation in the distant was getting louder and louder as it approached
near my dwelling but I didn't bother to poke my nose. One of them took courtesy to knock
the door. They were highly learned monks accompanied by seniors. I nodded my head
when one who knocked the door was asking if I was staying here. They left. I got
frustration. I craned my neck out of window to see the presence of neighbors’
in the next. There was no one. I hopped over the window and locked the door
from outside. No one will disturb me, I thought after reaching inside. As irritating
as jerry to tom, second round came and I heard what they said. I moved curtains
to let them know that I am still inside. It wasn’t funny by the way. There was
no use of lock from the outside after knowing I was inside. Third round came and
went. I unlocked the door from outside, still with irritated kind of feeling.
My target was to complete chanting one mantra within three days so I raced from the second day. I wrote my name on a piece of
paper sheet and pasted against the door hence I didn’t have to attend unlike in
the previous day. But you see, the more I chanted, the lesser my mouth worked. My
thumb started aching after running over bids for hundreds and thousands. Felt like
sleeping. Oh no! Maybe mara tried attempting to thwart me? Above all, it is this untamable
mind that needs my attention. I couldn’t tame even for a few seconds. Harder I try,
tougher it becomes. Within a fraction of second mind takes me to a longer adventurous
I ever travelled and I will ever travel. The friends I departed score of
year ago, foods I tasted long time back, places I visited, naughtiness I did, services
I rendered, love I received, beauty I saw etc, vividly resurrected and triggered
adrenaline rush. I was alone in the room yet engaged by mind. Other friends
I have is four statues, placed at the top rack is Sakyamuni Buddha, below is
three others (from left), Vajrasatta, Guru Nangsi Zilyon and Avalokisteshvara. I
watched them as if they were going to talk to me.
Honestly saying, I signed out all
my social network accounts except for wechat and blog to connect, judiciously. In this way I do
not know what is happening outside. No I am not googling also. You won’t believe
me that my same neighbor’s TV sound can be heard although one needs to give
good concentration. Since I chose to distance myself from any news, whenever I hear
‘corona…..’ on BBS from down, I louder my chant, even loudest if the sound comes
clear to my ear. For this reason I do not know the current cases related to
coronavirus. I hope and pray that everything will reignite from where it
stopped. It shall be a good and great leap, my dear.
My dear Yangki, it is pity that I
have told everything in a nutshell. I am sorry to say but most of my gossips
are not shared but I didn’t lie. I won’t regret for not revealing all, believe me, too much honest is not good. Some stories are not meant to disclose, remember
this.
Sitting whole day between the
four walls, thoughts running in my mind uncontrollably, and gossip popping,
maybe it is a responsibility to share with you individually, Yangkis'.
Take care. See you soon.
Thank You,
Jamyang Loden.
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