Linking Family Tree

I still remember my mother telling us how our generation would forget our ancestors and that she expected one of us to keep records. Alone, she would have written down a long list of names of her old parents and relatives, but only, if she was literated. I felt what she meant but I was not equipped at that time. Ever since I've always wanted to keep a records of our family's tree. On the contrary it was not going to be easy for me to keep lists of hundreds of people. I felt the need for right technology. I even tried browsing on Google but I failed. 

In 2015, one of my uncles, Pema Dendup, showed me a copy of several A4 sized papers in which he has recorded a history of our forefathers. He wanted me to proceed with digital recordings. I paid less heed to what he has done but I wanted to take those papers help. I was looking for a better way. I knew there would be better way to sort out messy stuff but I wasn't sure how to do until I came across Passu Diary's post few days ago. Going through the post I felt an immediate urge to dig out my family tree. And that's how it happened with a free software called Family Echo. So far I traced 79 people and they are all from mother's side. I have sent an invitation to cousins so that they can add their own lines of information. This tracing can continue.

It is quite interesting to know about Lama Sangay Wangdi who happened to be a maternal uncle of my maternal grandfather Dawa Chojey. 

https://kuenselonline.com/a-brief-history-of-yongla-goenpa-and-its-successive-lams/

Great Grandmother's family tree.

This was done with the help of an aunt who lives in Samtse. We consider her with the much information than rest of the family but when I asked her, it was not evident enough so I had to skip some of them but I'll keep on validating. Sadly I couldn't trace before great grand parent and I doubt whether I can go far from where I'm stuck. 

If you're bored amid lockdown, take this as a game and trace your family's tree. 

Once Again At Tharpaling Monastery

Group Photo

I would have never known sacredness of Tharpaling if I had not chosen my present path. I'm saying this to repent for not visiting during my school days when I had an ample of time. Now I'm so busy that I can't even remember most of my daily chores. This sounds quite funny but it is true. Hardly I can manage time for myself to treat Tharpaling's inscrutable energy. Neither can I express nor can you describe being around this place. Honestly, I can only recommend you to visit, once in your life, to taste what people gets when they go back from here. 

The place was initially blessed by Guru Rinpoche, later, prophetically, the number of interest of Buddhist priests visiting this place became a prominent both within and outside of country, especially Tibetans. One such figure that I fervently believe is The Great Longchen Rabjam who spent almost a decade’s time into exile. For me the synonym of Tharpaling is Longchenpa. (What is the literal meaning of Tharpaling?) What Longchenpa has achieved in his life is beyond sky and the earth. I, vehemently, say that we as a Buddhist owe this great practitioner in many aspects. There is no doubt that I beseech him like any other buddha's of three times. 

Therefore our class made a trip. This trip went so well that I instantly felt like blogging. 

I'll be forever indebted to certain group of people for their sponsorship without them this trip would have been nothing more than a plan. They’ll remain in our daily prayers. Some great masters of the past and present always said and says how lay practitioners can accumulate merits: patronage is one such kind of an act. It takes immeasurable amount of time to ripe one's acts & I just can't imagine when we might have started for this particular moment. It also requires perfect cause and condition to mesh together in order to ripe the fruits. Of course every moment of life flows in that cycle but most of the moments that we experience are not which allow us to do dharma. I've no other choice but to embrace and cherish a wonderful moment like this. 

Accompanied by Khenpo, few other seniors, patrons and some devotees, our class performed simple puja, essential tantric sacramental rite offering, inside Chodra Gompa. Our simple act was aimed to close session of the class which is done every year at this time. It was such a breathtaking moment for me to be in a holy place that too with a great purpose—service to sentient beings. Nearly two and half hours rite closed with a speech by our coordinator. We dispersed to visit holy sites after taking a lunch and a photo session. 

This time I couldn't visit any site’s. One reason is because I want to visit whenever I get time and feel as if I'm visiting for the first time. So I leave some of the sacred sites to unfold in my next trip what is known in Buddhist terminology as predisposition (བག་ཆགས). This time I sat along with three others in a small temple and did a recitation of one of the sacred scriptures composed by Longchen Rabjam at Gangri Thoekar in Tibet. Temple was enlarged later in an exact place where Longchenpa has spent time composing several books. I could feel the energy of great master. It has a collection of statues and other sacred items. I was lost in the presence of Longchenpa and didn't bother to ask anything beyond. Such is the power of my master Longchenpa! We spent almost an hour. 

It was 3:00 PM when I looked into my cellphone time. Many of our friends were busy visiting holy sites. I told them to get ready as soon as possible. They agreed. Since there was enough time, we thought why not take a walk before all the friends have assembled. I informed our bus driver that four of us would be walking ahead on the road. We talked all kinds of nonsense, walked nearly two hours, it started to get cold, and yet bus was not coming from behind. We reached Uruk village, met cow herders returning home with their cattle, saw some villagers busily greeting us while repairing fence and finally we heard roar of a bus in the distant. Not to my surprise, heard our friends singing songs in the bus, it was pretty dark by then. We hopped in. I recollected past memories when they sang a song that doesn't have beginning and end. Isn't it a refreshing moment away from our strict monastic rules? Some people would badmouthed for such behaviors but monks aren't that way all the time. We do but once in a blue moon. We are a human too, as I say oftentimes.

We have taken an oath to improve, we aren't improved. 

Every time I go to Tharpaling, I pray and wish to return again. 

Some of the photos from the trip

Performing Feast

Offering Feast Song

Lunch

Returning After A Feast Offering

Feast

My Neighbor Next Door

Friends, I haven't told you about a friend next to my room. I'll introduce you to this person that I think you'll like. It has been completely three years since we knew each other. The monks, not to mention only students, even seniors know him because he is such a hilarious guy. We call him Pemba which of course is his good name. 

But frankly speaking, occasionally, this guy irritates me. I will share how he does this. 

Every morning, Pemba would knock on my window's glass while I would be busy with my prayer. When I look at him, he would show me his weird facial expressions to amuse me. I would smile if my mood is good otherwise he would see me in a different way. He hardly gets exhausted to keep me entertained but I get fed up, sometimes, with him.  When I show angered face, Pemba would pretend to vanish and reappear when he knows that I've restored into normalcy. Once again, I'll have to pretend to jump down the throat, to avoid him from my sight. I would giggle, then.  This is how two of us greet.

You won't believe me what kind of stories Pemba has and that I heard some of them from him. Although I can narrate all I won't for some reason. Those that I'm going to share are highlights of his life, so far. 

Pemba lost his mother at a very young age and was brought up by his father and elder siblings. His father got married to another woman and left, yet never missed affection under his elder sister's care. But mother is mother only. Nothing can replace her. You and I know that. Nevertheless he was sent to school though he was slower than rest of the mates. I was told by Pemba that he had to repeat each grades. Friends of his age left him and he had to cope with another batches. Of course he would easily cope up. His life took a different direction one day and that has changed a lot. He was traveling between Zhemgang and Gelephu in his cousin’s car. Upon regaining consciousness, he found himself in the bed and had a pain when he tried to move. So he asked sister, only to know from her that he had survived an accident two weeks back. He could tell me not more than that. Because he could recollect not beyond this. The luck has turned in a different form, I say, because it was that indelible incident which pushed him to spiritual path. 

It was not easy for him, especially when he had to study and do examinations in the monastic school too. Once, Pemba, just like any other monk, was assembled in the examination hall. He got dismissed from exam hall. He was laughing hysterically when he shared me how his teacher whipped him on that day. Why? You know, his shaky hands didn't allow him to write properly. Instead wrote a word and filled the space that was provided to accommodate whole monastery name. This infuriated his teacher. Logically I do not see fault with Pemba but that's how life is. Unfair! There should have been better options for him. Is written exam only an option? 

His story doesn't end here. Pemba enrolled to study in higher Buddhist studies which means he will have to face exam for next ten years. He will have to pass the grades in order to complete in time and it was obvious he won't make through such. However, he tried, he failed every attempted examinations for two consecutive years. Since examination is not ultimate aim of Buddhist studies, he was granted under special consideration and exempted from most feared challenge of his life. Today, he goes to the class regularly and receives oral transmission but I find him holding pen, mostly scribbling. He even goes to practice jaling-Tibetan Trumpet. If you cannot enjoy the fruit of success in this life, you've next life. He believes in this. 

To me, to you, to some of us, such kind of life will be harder. The way my neighbour handle his life is awe-inspiring. I see him living life in such a way that sometimes, I feel, his stories are meant to boost when I get low. 

Living With Fear

I do not remember when was the first time a fear has pinched me but learning philosophies to greater heights makes me to believe that fear was already in me from a time immemorial. It is quite crazy but then that's the fact. Needless to say, you and I've experienced fear in some point of our life. Isn't it? It is the fear of getting something, losing something, departing from dear one's, meeting unknowns, so on and on. Despite going through such kind of unpleasant feeling, we have lived our life, at least I consider that way and adjusted in every situations. Considering the fact, it is fear that shaped us and pushed us to arena of fearlessness. Maybe maybe not, as you read the lines on fear, your adrenaline rush gets activated for a valid reason that in one point of life you went through FEAR. Sharing your old memories gives you strength to face fear. Don't have to believe me. Go on and give a try. 

What's my biggest fear in life? Ask yourself. 

If truth be told, there was never a time in my life without fear, to make a long story short, at this moment, my fear is; are my sentences arranged correctly, what will others think if I write this way, am I justifying the meaning of fear as per other people's beliefs. Actually these thoughts keeps me going forward. Are the thoughts, which strikes me time and again, necessary? Not all thoughts are necessary but remember they're all part of journey. There is only one thing and that is to move with thoughts--thoughts of fear! 

Let me share an incident in my life that I have never forgotten till date. On the first day of my school, more than two decades passed, I wept like any pampered child would do. But I do not find any specific reasons on why I silently erupted into crying the very moment when I saw mother at a little distances away from me. It surely was a fear but what kind of fear? Right after assembly got over, I ran off to my mother and burst out into a louder cry. She patted at my back with a consoling touch and that I'll have learn to face fear in life. Those soothing touch from mothers' are the best remedy to heal any kind of wounds. Later I realised that mother's love isn't spoken often and that they can touch you even when they gaze. As of now, this is my oldest known incident which I can relate.

Simple Hot Stone Bath

What if I told you that we went for hot stone bath today? Normally this kind of bath are taken in winter and rarely one will come across a situation like ours. Any ways, ours was another unprepared plan and also for the fact that it is a month of sundays and I didn't want to waste it doing regular chores. It was also last night that I felt like bathing in a traditional way—which not only cleanse physical dirt but inner too. In brief, it cleanses diseases, so, many in the past had used this for that purpose. And I couldn't stop myself from believing as I've to go through such pains which needed immediate cure too.

Stupa on the way

But Today, in the early morning, I never thought we would manage to go since the weather was unfavorable. Slowly it became clear to me that today is the day. Of course I should not be too quick to judge weather as it is known for unpredictable from time immemorial. However, three of us decided to go to a stream below  the monastery where Gelongma Palmo is believed to have spent sometimes doing meditation. I was told earlier by friends about the menchu, I saw some monks going there for the same reason and frankly speaking, I was waiting for the right moment to knock. Glad to have done it today. Wow!

Stone's being roasted 

For many, at least I assume, taking hot stone bath seems to be expensive. If you read how we did, you'll not only be surprised but also want to try it as the earliest. By the way, this was my first try. 

Three basic things are, match box, knife (or axe if you prefer) and firewood. Rest we can adjust after reaching spot. But for us, we had to search firewood from nearby places and luckily we got enough to roast the stones. Otherwise it will be hard to get, especially dried logs in monsoon season. One of my friends had previous experiences and this eased us. He failed several attempts before making a fire as everything was wet. I washed tub while another one vanished into bushes to find extra firewood. It was also teamwork with mutual understanding that quickened our process. After roasting stones for more than 2hrs, I took the first chance to dip into tub and experience a wonderful medicinal bath I’ve ever tried. I was told that even lesser stones can easily heat the water in the tub if the stones are heated longer. It depends on stone's to heat the water. They've a direct proportion. Longer the stone heated means faster the chances of getting water hot. Adding artemisia plant make’s the bath aromatic one. 

Bath Tub

We should have taken hot tea and snacks, I wished on that tub. None of us carried any eatable items. It was heavy breakfast that kept us strong till noon. Maybe that's why we were not concerned about not bringing edibles. I would prefer to carry next time. 

After soaking for nearly an hour, I offered two friends who were waiting and were busy roasting stones. When I stepped out from the tub, as informed by a friend, giddiness caught me for few seconds. Could be a blessing in disguise? Because, usually, orally, religiously, I was told about such symptoms and it occur only when it works with your ailment. Maybe I heard it wrong. 

Relaxing myself

I pray this medicinal bath cures me in every sense. 

Finally, we finished everything and took lunch around 2:00 PM at my brother's home. 

Turning & Turning In The Widening Gyre Of Samsara

In loving memory of the old me, let me share an information which might not have much sense. One of the most widely celebrated day in life, in my observation, is the day when one is born. Fortunately or unfortunately, I never had an exact birthday. For this reason I'm excluded from celebrating birthdays. My dear mother confirmed my birth day somewhere in fifth month of a

Picture is the imagery of samsara

Tibetan calendar. Possibly it could be on first week of a July. Despite the fact of not having a recorded birthday, it never bothered me at all! I am a true believer of Brian Tracy’s, “It doesn't matter where you're coming from. All that matters is where you're going.” When someone teases me, I defend with wit and convince them that everyday is my birthday. However, there is one reason I found difficult to accept. Birthdays are one side of a truth. I've to develop an undiscriminating appetite to understand this fact. Let me disclose who I am today has a fear within me; the fear of death. The fruit of temporary achievement (living a materialistic life) didn't motivated me as much as fear has been a primary motivator. Fear has never held me back, indeed it has pushed me into a new environment. But death is not the sole culprit. It is birth which begins not only this unavoidable cycle but for everything we can experience in this world. Birth and death are inseparable. They're two sides of a coin. If so, why do I embrace birth? And why do I ignore death? Here too, I need a valid reason. I have an insatiable appetite for the eternal path and the possibility is seen although the track is obscure.

For the joy of human birth and the dreadfully felt fear for death, let me remind myself with the ticking of every second about the little time of life. It maybe a most cherished day but it is a day that adds fear in my chapter of life. Eventually and ultimately I can feel a happy birthday for I have lived these many days since score and seven years. I will continue to ponder the questions of birth and life and the cycle of living each day. And each year during the month of my birth I’ll look even more deeply into my thoughts of so many others who share the same questions, concerns and wonder at both sides of this coin called life on planet earth. The two sides coin of birth and death.

Confession #2

Pic: Google 

We were chanting the mantra of a compassionate Bodhisattva while thoughts in my mind, stupid mostly, kept me engaged the whole day. Of all the thoughts that came and passed, it was one kind of a thought that touched me truly and honestly. Situation let me to vividly remember my old bygone days and I realised my own cruelty. 

Thoughts are likely to strike your mind when you go through situations having similar connection or it can be otherwise.

My friends and I would always love to gather to discuss our next hunting spot. Frankly speaking, we didn't mind openly shooting stones at birds, harmless birds! As far as my memory is clear, I alone shot two birds with my own hands and with the catapults. 

My gosh! This story of going for hunting birds and other animals like deer, rabbit & squirrel is short, though not as short as you might know, but not habitually fishing story, even at my early twenties, eh! There was a time when smallest insects too had to be killed in order to get fish. There was a time when fight would broke out between friends when getting fish was not only difficult but risky too. There was a time when parents would punish us and teachers would openly insult us in the morning assembly. And all because we were fishing? Not necessarily but definitely when we were wrong in our actions. Wrong to take others life, wong even to kill a fly. Those were taught at home and school yet I paid less heed to what they told me. Maybe, may not be, those advices, I stored in my mind, what is scientifically known as subconscious level? I don't know. That might have played a role in the later part of my life? Still I'm not sure. If it worked that way, we should learn to keep advising younger generations, time and again. To some of you, I am more of a flattery, but that doesn't stop me from saying that I do not take meet anymore.

Whenever I chant or pray, thoughts comes one after another. And I'm so remorseful about my own action. Of course that can hardly recompense for all that I've done. Only almighty and my karma knows. I must pay for it. Those were the days when thoughts were immature and actions too. 

The Lord of compassion, Avaloketeshvara, pity me for my unknown deeds. Equally, I am regretful, for I shall bear nobody's but my own deeds. While my weep comes deep down from heart, I'm clasping my two hands, to get out of hell, even though I’m the perpetrator of a sin. Through you, my lord, I shall learn to render services following your footsteps, doesn't matter the output, even if it is tiny like the point of a pin.

Will I ever rid of cruel deeds?